A Sad State of Affairs

Let me just say now, I am not having an affair... I am too tired, and I am totally against the whole extramarital thing - I take my vows seriously.  And the poor Hub has no idea how close he is to the "til death do us part" part sometimes!!!! Kidding!!! I am referring to what cosmic message the universe is sending me, and it isn't looking so good.  How did I come to this conclusion?  Well, I based it on the coupons generated from my purchases today at Walgreens: (in entirety) Pampers, baby food carrots (mine are still too thick for her yet), kids and adult toothpastes, a fly swatter (Po Folk fun!), and a coupla toys (the Masses were relentless - plus I bribed them to get through super fast).

The coupons were mainly for cereal and Kelloggs products - will consider buying said products in bulk (per coupon) for the big $5 savings; still considering.  But then came 'the kickers' - a coupon for mass quantities of SLIMFAST (because apparently having children means I need to drop a few lbs.), and ... wait for it... POISE pads, because common sense says that if I need diapers, baby food, and SLIMFAST, I must also have an incontinence problem!!!!

Somewhere down the line, when whoever 'they' are set up the whole coupon machine, the ubiquitous they must have had one heck of a party with LOTS of trash can punch to link all those indiscriminate items together!! Talk about ROCKET SCIENCE!!!!  It does my heart good to know that all those folks with aerospace engineering degrees that choose not to work for toy companies packaging toys (I swear I could launch Barbie in her neatly packaged box into outerspace and have her return with nary a hair out of place!), now have another option!

And if that doesn't pan out, they could probably come up with marketing slogans for these caffeinated alcoholic beverages ( Really? What ever happened to the good old days of 7Eleven Cokes and slushies with add your own in the back of your best friends car?  Are we so freakin' lazy that we can't stand to get out of the car and go get our own slushy?  Sonic, anyone?  Give me a break!!! Bunch of Pansy....)! It really will take rocket science to get someone like me to buy a drink called "Joose", especially after one of my kids has phonetically spelled the same word in reference to the non-alcoholic version of apple or grape (white only, others stain)!  And from what I've read, it's all sweet and candy-ish - eeeewwwww!  Now you know that for all these young illegal drinkers that is gonna taste some kinda nasty comin' back up (and they're the fools who'd buy this @#$%*!!! Like any self-respecting college kid's gonna confess to drinking, let alone, buying that stuff... Joose? REALLY?)

  

So, what's the purpose?  Apparently, the whole rum and COke (or Diet Coke) thing just wasn't jazzy enough.  But, I think the manufacturers need to make the public aware that really all you're gonna get is a wide awake drunk!  Studies show that despite caffeine, you still gonna get drunk if ya  drink too much!!!  DURRRRHHHHH!!!!  Only instead of falling asleep, you're gonna be awake to enjoy all the stupidly humiliating things you are doing! 

And everyone who knows me knows that I don't need alcohol to embarrass myself - HA! Said it before you did!  And I bet this little shot of caffeinated alcohol (which is again, blasphemous to caffeine addicts everywhere) costs a heck of a lot more than your 7Eleven Slurpy and a shot of sumpin'-sumpin'!

Sut I'm happy to pass on the slurpy, and the alcohol,... I just wanna know where I left my Diet Coke....