It's been a wild and crazy month: moved into new house, cleaned old house, unpacked new house (with some help from friends and family - special thanks to the Diet Coke deliveries and Papa John's), had garage sale with Sister Lunch Lady (now that was fun, though she needs to be renamed Sister Molasses!!!), took both female Masses to a pageant (that is entirely another blog), ran #1 to various dance events, thankfully entertained Sister M'Bellish and her beautiful family for Turkey day, and kept up all the rest... including dog training and getting children to school and feeding them and washing their dirty nasty clothes... which makes me think of the new exciting dirty nasty things which we have discovered in this past month...
SO, we should start there: the dirty nasty things category. Yeah, you THINK you've smelled some really gross things, and you probably have, especially if you have a child on the verge of 'tweening'. And you will identify with me when I tell you there are few things as pungent as the stinky feet of a said 'child on the cusp'. One night after #1 finished with dance (one frozen night), I picked her up and engaged in the usual niceties of 'how was dance?' 'did you have fun?' 'what did you learn?' Which was suddenly and rudely interrupted with:
OMG!!!!!! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?????? GOOD HEAVENS???? DID SOMETHING DIE BACK THERE??? DID YOU FART???? WHAT DID YOU EAT????
THAT'S YOUR FEET??????????????????????
She had removed her shoes after 3 hours of intense dance, in the car, which was enclosed, and the heat was on high, as it was 2 degrees outside (therefore rolling down the windows was on the 'cons' list.) This had to be addressed!!!
We stopped immediately at the store and picked up some foot powder, foot spray, foot pads, foot wipes, foot perfume, foot mist, foot deodorizer. IT WAS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS I HAVE EVER SMELLED!!!!!!! Note: with four children and various pets, I have smelled a lot. THerefore, please believe me when I tell you this was abnormally BBAAAAADDDDDD!!!!!
We wiped and washed and sprayed and deodorized and fluffed and buffed and perfumed and talcum-ed, and frankly, it only works for a while. The Stank returns. Like a bad boyfriend, or ginormous zit. It's there... lurking beneath the leather of her dance shoes... just waiting to rear it's evil head!!!
And we both know it. And I'm ready... OK, not really, but what choice do I have??? And it could be worse.
And it has been.
Thanks to Fat Annie the Very Bad Dog.
And her great adventure with all things dead and rancid; it would be titled: Ways to Kill Yourself Through Nature - Your Dog's Intestinal Tract on Dead Festering Wild Game Dinner.
But that's gonna have to wait til next time - gotta go make a cute gingerbread house with my Southern Living kids (this oughta be REAL messy!!!!)!