On the Subject of My Fertility, and Other Things Complete Strangers Think They have the Right to Comment On

Ah, the glorious Constitutional right of Free Speech... but really? Is anything truly FREE?  Someone pays, my friends, someone does indeed pay.  ANd that is what today's Thesis of Thought is about: the incredibly stupid things people say to me or my children under the guise of being helpful or simply because they think I give a poop, which I usually don't!

Just today, I smiled an laughed through just such a publicly awkward moment for some dolt who decided to share with me his personal and oh-so-undesired opinion of our family status and procreational habits (translate: we have four -4- children, ages 8 to 6 months).  Jaba the Hut, whom I know VERY casually from various kids' activities (I can barely remember his name) had the pleasure of running into me today, and flat out telling me it was time to stop having children.  Just like that! Whew! What a relief!  To think The Hub and I actually thought this was OUR responsibility! Who knew it was all so simple... and FREE!!!!!  oh, he did say that they were all absolutely adorable, but we had to stop sometime; just when HE thought I had a handle on things, along comes another bundle!  Who knew we were so close and personal that he could single-handedly judge whether I am an adequate parent!  How have I gotten this far without his oh-so-esteemed opinion?

I laughed because I was trying to figure an escape route for AFTER I stabbed him with the ball point pen...  I also smiled because I wouldn't want to do anything to embarrass The Hub, or hurt his business, but I did secretly consider keying his car.  

And there are always the delightful people who parent your kids for you while you stand there fuming and invisible.  Gotta love these helpful souls - or pray for their souls, and that they can run faster than you!  I truly enjoyed the lady who sang "big boys don't cry" to my four year old, after the kid IN HER CARE ripped out a hunk of his hair.  I glared her into retreat; go ahead, Song Lady, dare ya to make eye contact again!!!!!

And we all appreciate a kind word or helping hand from a fellow parent while we haul a screaming, thrashing toddler outside!  But for those misinformed folks who think they are helping by telling me what to do, or better yet, trying to step in and do it for me, don't blame me if I unload my travelled-all-day-with-four-whiney-kids-and-a-puking-dog self on YOU!  Freedom of speech works both ways, amen? 

So, if you aren't gonna offer to open my door or buy me a stiff drink, BUTT OUT!!! And all God's children and their parents said, "AMEN!!!"