On the Subject of School and the Glory of Sending Your Children

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  I'm practicing for tomorrow morning when I drop #3 off at Montessori, and drive home to the nice quiet house with just the babe ... I'm a little teary thinking about it!  I am now well past any guilt I briefly felt for not homeschooling my children; let's face it, I need there to be someone else (or two or three) to blame for screwing them up besides me, OK?  I think the time I spend with them (which is more than average) is PLENTY of time to do some serious damage!  

I have a sinking feeling some of that damage is directly related to the extent of my sarcasm; I have finely honed this skill so that I am now unable to differentiate my sarcasm from, well, anything.  I seriously do not think I could have a conversation without it - I think this is one of those nature vs. nurture questions,... and I'm pretty sure I've got the genetic mutation goin' on!!!  And as for the environment I was raised in?  Have you ever heard me talk about these people?!  THESE ARE NOT LIES, I TELL YOU!!!!

Anyway, my daughter seems to have inherited my disorder, and as she grows is starting to develop her own sense of sarcasm - which is fun to watch, unless it is directed at me, and then it isn't so fun - it's SASSY, and that ain't gonna work, homey.  But, nonetheless, the Hub and I are having a blast now that she's getting some of our twisted, sick humor!  

And this led me to contemplate what life would be like WITHOUT sarcasm (gasp!).  Is this possible, you ask?  Yes, and I have the person to prove it: The Black Widow.  I realized why she cannot get along with this family (OK, the fam is totally awesome, she's disturbed - but read on - don't want to spoil the fun!).  I thought all these years she had no sense of humor - like, she is physically incapable of smiling; she has no ability to experience joy, happiness, a belly laugh,... so depressing to think about, isn't it?  FOr the record, I have never seen her laugh. Really. No kiddin' here. Ever. No. Laughing. Allowed.  I had managed to find a place in my heart to pity her b/c she was born with the genetic mutation of her emotions, rendering her (duh-duh-duuuhhhh) EMOTIONLESS!!!  I imagine it 's called something like "Unemo" (pronounced 'uhn-eemoe').  There should be some sort of fundraiser, ya think?

SO, then it dawns on me that the Black Widow is truly handicapped - not only is she a victim of Unemo, she's so emotionally stunted that she lacks the great joy of understanding, let alone using, sarcasm!!!!!!!!  OK, now I am crying harder than Sally Strothers in her Save the Children videos!  This is truly awful!  People look at her all day like some sort of 'came from another planet freak' (which she deserves, but let's not be obvious, people!), they shun her (well, we do), they make fun of her mercilessly (guilty again!!!), and she can't join in any reindeer games!!!!  And not only that, she's stunted the Jellyfish, too!!!!!  He obviously is fighting nature like a whale trying to waddle and quack, as prior to meeting the Black Widow, he was jolly, stunningly sarcastically witty fella;  but, the Black widow 'kills' her mate,... true to form.  I believe in what God makes and how he makes it, and eventually the whale will see the futility of fighting what he is,... and then perhaps he'll get our jokes again!!!  Hey, I'm a hopeful gal.  And until then, well, I'm gonna belly laugh for the both of them, by golly!  Why? Because I'm a giver, I tell ya, a Giver!!!!!