On the Subject of the Eternity Planning for the Dog

I often fantasize of ways to kill Satan Incarnate;  my current involves spontaneous combustion. His, not mine.  It's a glorious day, when all of the sudden, all his barking and fussing at me causes him to swell up like an overgrown toad, or a very very pregnant lady in the heat of late August, and he just... EXPLODES!!!!  then I wake up.  It's just a fantasy.  Darn.

I am not a really graphic person, nor a hateful person, or a vengeful person;  but the dog is bringing out the worst in me tonight (OK, every night... every moment... of every day).  I mean, if I was mean and hateful, I lure the half-blind, mostly deaf old arthritic leaky pup into the road at rush hour... and I have thought of it, but I'd be too guilt ridden for all eternity.  I don't want him to hurt.  So, I pray every night that he'll just go to sleep and go quietly to heaven, just drift off peacefully in his sleep.

And every morning I wake up and he's still here.

I'm doing penance for something!!!  I've had multiple offers to 'take care of him', and several from the Hub, but so far I haven't put out a contract on him... yet... not today... golly, am I tempted!

So, until then, I am left changing his homemade diaper, and taking some comfort that he's miserably humiliated in it, and therefore I am compensated somewhat for all the misery he's caused us.  Nothing like a little payback - hey, I'll take what I can get!!!