More Dog Death Dreams

TOnight as I snacked on a delicious, yet not quite up to the par of my usual Pink Lady Apple, Braeburn apple, I was seized with the incredible desire to strangle the beagle, Devil Dog.  It could be that she was baying uncontrollably in the dark backyard at some poor sweet bunny - for 20 minutes straight. Doesn't her throat get sore?  Now, I know some of you want to call the SPCA, and I say go ahead, cause they will find well cared for loved-by-my-children animals; I love the hammies.  We do take excellent care of our canines, and thus they are still alive!!!

I used to love my dog (Satan Incarnate), but time and his aging process have made it possible for me to pray again tonight that he will go quietly to the great food bowl in the sky!  As for Annie, if we get rid of her, the Masses will want a puppy, and I just got new carpet in this house so we can sell it in about a year... you see my dilemna.  I anticipate that I will someday love dogs again, just not THESE dogs!

But, the Hub has just sneaked in here and asked me to do something about Annie, as she is on a bark-a-thon again - seriously - dry mouth? sore throat? hoarseness?  Oh, I'd like to do something about her, alright!

And, on a side note, I want to make the point that, yes, I do have a birthday approaching; no, it is not anything special (bunch of nosey Nellies!); no, I will not tell you my exact age.  Why should you care? So you can make fun of me? Say things like: "My doesn't she look good for (insert number here)?"  or "how much surgery do you think she's had to be looking that good at her age?" or "you're older than I am!!!" I do not particularly enjoy birthday festivities in my honor, unless #1 (who has a definite future in party planning) plans it. And no, you can not use my daughter to plan me a party - I hate surprises, unless they are diamond-age, and then I still would rather not have it as a surprise. I think I should be celebrated EVERY STINKIN' DAY BECAUSE I AM FABULOUS!!!!!  But just in case any of you darling friends of mine think it would be funny to prank me, with say, an ad in the paper????

I will avenge myself. Period. Be afraid.  I spare no expense on revenge.  You have been warned.  More like promised. I. Mean. It.  That includes you Kaci, Tigo, Jen, Debbie, Jeanne, Kelly, JuJu... I'll have to add the rest later!

JUST ASK JEN- I DO NOT LIKE SURPRISES!!!!!!  I SERIOUSLY TRY TO PEEK AT THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!! I AM NOT A SURPRISE LOVIN' KINDA GAL AT ALL!!!!!

WHAT DO I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?  Time with my friends, of course!!!  To eat, drink (Diet Coke, duh), and be merry croppin'!!!  I am happy that I get older every year, because the alternative is not in my plans for a while, amy the Lord will it so.  But I'd like to focus more on the "aren't I lucky to be so blessed with all these great people and a fab family" than the count the gray hairs and crows feet (not really a hit party game, know what I mean?). 

AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MY AGE?  You'll have to buy me diamonds!!!!!