Today, I risked my gastronomical health by dining at the home of MILLIE, who is a truly delightful woman and beyond fab grandma; the cooking thing may have passed its heyday for her. On many such occasions, I have eaten a meal at her house featuring multiple starches and the ever-anticipated jello salad (or just jello). Who knew one could do so much with Jello? Certainly NOT the makers of the stuff - they are creative, but I'm here to tell you they do not hold a candle to MILLIE!!! She has concocted her OWN DISH: "Yum - Yum". This is whipped Jello. No fooling. It tastes like air, which isn't necessarily a desired culinary goal. I am not sure why she has become so creative with Jello; it could be all the years of meal prep, but the food industry has exploded in my lifetime alone to provide creative kitchen opportunities. It could be that she gets a wild hair every now and then to work in a test kitchen... so hers has become just that. We are the lab rats.
I dread the invitation that begins with:" I've gotten a notion to do some cooking, and I tried this new recipe...", because it invariably concludes with:"I modified it, or I tweaked it, or I substituted...". BUt, the absolute worst is when she says:" I'm doing a little experiment, or I came up with...". Take your Prevacid and Tums!
She's experimental in other ways, too. I give her applause for her creativity! She's ambitious in her ideas! And, she has a fetish with freezing. The Hub has a fetish with pickles, I have a fetish with Diet Coke. I fault her not for her fetishes. I fault her for freezing!!! There is a moratorium of some sorts somewhere on how much and what can be frozen and for how long!!!! How do we get a copy? Seriously, when you can't tell what the food substance is anymore, skip the defrost and toss!!!! If it's been in there for over 6 months, you obviously didn't like it enough to want it to begin with! You probably won't like it the second time around!!!
True, I have made Turkey day dressing in a double batch and frozen one for CHristmas, which is about a month away... a month, get it? About thirty days, little more, little less. Hint. Hint.
I know, I know, you think: could jello really have sent her into such a tizzy? Well, it's more of a train-of-thought thing than a tizzy, and yes. Why? Well, in my lifetime of family holiday tables, I've eaten Jello with cottage cheese, without cottage cheese, with fruit, without fruit, with nuts, without nuts, with whipped topping, without whipped topping, with cheese, without cheese, with grated carrots, without grated carrots... but today I ate jello in a way I have never tried. I've eaten every available color of jello ever made concocted into some wiggly dessert or 'handed down from generation to generation' salad - grandma would be proud! I have never eaten what I did today.
I ATE ORANGE JELLO WITH CHOPPED CELERY IN IT. SERVED WITH THE OPTIONAL SIDE OF MAYO.
YES, MAYO.
I PASSED ON THE MAYO.
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