On the Start of Soccer Season

Aaaahhhh, the start of soccer season!  This will be our third season (which is actually fall and spring), and I really look forward to stripping my vocal cords at my 7 year-olds' games.  They are seriously fun!!!!  And my 4 year-olds' games will progress from 'bunch' ball, to the free-for-all kickfest!  Nothing like spending a Saturday morning inhaling the nearby turkey farms' offal  along with my morning Diet Coke!  I mean, you haven't lived until you've frozen your keester in the porta-potty in November relieving your bladder!!!!

And nothing smells as good as good ol' soccer field dirt... which means that my children will be forced to strip nekkid before they get into my nice new Platinum Level Vehicle.  But talk about scrapbook opportunities!  

So, I packed the kiddies 2 & 3 off to soccer practice with the Hub, and await the funfest of an extra dance class for #1, as she is going to dance at her dance school's exhibition at the Baxter County Fair, aka the Baxter County Freakfest.   Yep, fall is here, and the Fair is near!!!

I wouldn't miss the fair for the world!  Where else can one go to catch up on the latest in animal husbandry, and the experience known as "the variables of genetics".  Friday and Saturday nights are the best, but the real freaky people come out after dark, so stay at least 30 minutes after the sun sets; this is really telling, isn't it?  They only come out after dark?  Get it?????

I've always wondered why the tattoo parlors/ studios/whatever are so popular here.  Now I know.  ANd it is really only a select group that falls into the freaky category (and having a tattoo does not a freak make - plenty of normal folks have 'em too) and these folks have an abundance of 'tatts', and piercings, and chains... with the piercings, and mohawks and other spiked hair-do's.  ANd here is where I digress...

 The mid to late eighties spawned the punk look which evolved to goth with all its black, spikes, and mohawks, which then evolved into grunge, which then moved to alternative, and appears to be cycling back, this based on latest fashion magazines (hint: if it was BAD to begin with, why go back? Were leg-warmers ever really a good fashion choice?).  So, I look at all these freaky folks and think not how far out and wild they are, but how unimaginative and retro... can't they come up with something NEW?????

I am so BORED with spikes and chains and black and piercings and nipple rings (the last one was just to see if you were paying attention!)!!!!!

I admit I have been tempted in the past to get a tatt, but I imagined 1) the pain (no thanks), 2) what it would look like when I am old and wrinkly (NOOOO thanks!).  What are these kids gonna do when they hit their eighties and they have hair growing out of their nose piercing? Or they have to trim the hair in and around the brow ring?  What is they have crazy eyebrows and you can't even see the ring? What a waste!!!!  And  think about a SAGGY tattoo from weight gain, or one with stretch marks (from pregnancy or beer, or both).  

And just ponder the mental anguish of some poor healthcare worker when they change your depends and see a withered old teddy bear winking back at them.  Nice.  No, I'm all for fashion forward, not backwards; I'll pass on the 'Material Girl' look and leg-warmers - I'd rather be cold at the soccer field.