White Water/Why Water?

Aaaahhh, the joys of summer! Nothing like the signs of a good vacation, whether it be a few hours or a few weeks, like returning exhausted and in pain, with at least a K2 of laundry to do!  We took The Masses to White Water yesterday, 'cause The Hub has a really sick sense of fun- force The Queen to wear a 'satan' suit in front of several hundred people we don't know for four hours - yippee!!!!  He does this in the guise that we are taking the children to do something 'fun', but I know the truth!!!!  It's all about torturing ME!!!!  I spent the afternoon 'toodling' the baby and playing with #3, which was fun - but what happened to ME doing some slides?  

This brings me to two questions for today. 1) Why does The Hub get to be the "Fun Parent", while I am stuck being the Unfun Parent?  Isn't it enough that I daily force the Uncooperative Masses to perform basic chores of cleanliness and hygiene, avoid killing each other, take away privileges in response for breaking the rules or dropping #3 on his head?  Do I get to have NO fun?  The Masses run to the Hub when he walks in at the end of the day... or any time of the day... squealing with delight.  All I get is "oh, hey, Mom's home." and with the enthusiasm of drinking sour milk!!!!  Now, I am the favorite of #4 - but, let's face it, to her I am just the walking Ninni!  Just a thought for all you Unfun Parents out there.

2) The food situation at White Water is horrifying!!!  First, you are not allowed to bring food in; and I know why.  The proprietors of the water park are all cardiologists ( I have no idea if this is true but it would really explain a lot), and therefore, want you to buy the nasty greasiest foods available to clog your arteries for sure, under the guise that you are having family fun!!!!  Or, they single-handedly want to worsen the obesity epidemic in the US.  There was nary a fruit or veggie to be found (true, I could have overlooked the fresh fruit stand with all the attention that the Dippin dots and Lemon flavored sugar water stands were getting).  In fact, the only thing close to a veggie was in the form of and iceberg lettuce salad costing roughly $2.01 MORE than a large slice of pizza!!! It's lettuce, for cryin' out loud!!!! The bottled water I priced was $.51 MORE than sugar-laden soda!!!! Let's see, give my kid sugar and caffeine in the HEAT to DEHYDRATE them more, or offer bottled water... which is WATER in a bottle (hhhmmmmm - could have brought my own water in reusable bottles, and thrown away LESS - better for the environment) In fact, they offered NO juice, and NO milk!!!! 

 I know, I know, we want to have fun - but we wonder why the US is the heaviest nation in the world?  It's the Powerade we pour down our kids throats to replace electrolytes, in kids that really just need a great big dose of water!  OK, I am really OK with fun foods and desserts in moderation, and left to her own devises, #1 would live on non-nutritive substances made of man-engineered molecules... or twinkies.  And that is my point. Left to her own impulses, they wouldn't be healthy.  In fact, her first question after dinner every night... what's for dessert? We don't wanna eat right (liek I WANT the pear over chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven? DUH!!!) But, they aren't makin' it easier!!! Is it too much to ask to get a fair price on the foods that we need (like water) and most of the water park isn't gonna order anyway ( such as an orange or lettuce), or be allowed to bring in some items that aren't sold there... such as an apple?  What about the folks on special diets?  Do they need a doctor's note... 'cause I can put ALL the Masses on a special diet, know what I mean?  

Having two degrees in nutrition can be a real drag when it comes to choosing foods responsibly, but even my BFF will tell you that when I eat cake... I eat cake. None of this " I'll just take a little tiny sliver and then come back and pick obsessively at the plate/icing/other people's plate, or hover over your neighbor like and unfed hound dog! ( I once would have done that) Nope. Get your cake - get a fork - enjoy!!!  But isn't that why my kids have birthdays is so I can enjoy the cake?  And it's OK to have the french fries every now and then, but when your kids think that the green foods are the ones you cleaned out of the fridge from last months take-out leftovers, it's time to re-evaluate!!!

I think it would be responsible of the proprietors (ie., the cardiologists) to offer some other choices for those of us that already feel disgusted that we have to be seen in a 'satan' suit - give a gal a reason to feel better about herself... know what I mean???