Me vs. Mother Nature

So, Mother Nature and I are at war; not the kind that comes monthly, no, I mean the REAL Mother Nature.  You know, managing... well, nature.  We are no longer friends.

I know, you are just DYING to know why.  Well, we have a woodpecker problem.  A real live, very pesky woodpecker. At first, Woodie ( like you could think of a better name!) was just an annoyance; peck, peck, peck on the window facing outside #4's window.  I'd just bang on the window, or open the front door, and off he'd go.

However, as winter draws near in these here parts (of the woods), Woodie and his cozy little family are apparently looking to make a more permanent investment in property - MINE!!!!

THe Nanny (aka One Of God's Greatest Gifts) alerted me to the Woodie situation worsening - he'd pecked a hole in the stucco facing!  Stupid bird!!!!  One hole I can deal with.  But the story doesn't end here.

Virtually overnight, Woodie shifted in to overdrive and pecked FOUR HOLES, surprisingly evenly spaced, around the upper facing of #4's window!!!!

Entrance, exit, skylight, and ventilation.

So, I called the Fish and Game Commission.  The older gent I spoke with kindly informed me that woodpeckers were indeed a problem (DUH!!!), and that he'd copy some info for me to read.  Also, more importantly, it is against federal and state law to shoot them, as they are endangered species!!!! ( He must have read my mind)

OH, DEAR WOODIE, IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW IN-DANGERED YOU REALLY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, now that his condo is complete we haven't heard much from him.  Nonetheless, I plan on doing something about his new roost before spring is heralded by the cheeping and pecking of Woodie's progeny!  But, according to the xeroxed info, there isn't much I can do effectively, long-term to rid my residence of Woodie, the Unwanted Guest.  Poison is outlawed, too.  Rats! Owls, falcon decoys... all have to be there BEFORE Woodie or any of his buddies come a knockin'!  One can construct elaborate netted devices to keep the buggers away, but again, most only work if you erect them BEFORE your pesky new friend makes himself at home.

I am officially open for suggestions. On the Woodie situation. Let's keep it to that for now!