So, the scourge of the winter has hit - the Masses have all been ill,... even the Hub, which is worse than the Masses being ill in and of themselves.  I just keep my head down and hang on for dear life!!!!

OK, so I'm exaggerating a little.  Artistic license.  I have no real news to date, except that I have found myself fantasizing lately, and not about the usual things: I have been imagining Satan Incarnate dropping dead mid-bark!!!  We bought a bark collar for Fat Annie, the Very Bad Dog, because it was that, or let the Hub target practice;  collar is working well.  So, one recent night as I sat enjoying my nightly apple and book (eat apple, read book), Satan Incarnate began barking his fool head off (oh, that I would BE so lucky).  I did the usual - I tried to ignore him.  He got louder, if that's really possible, and we risked him waking the baby up.  He wants food; that's his only enjoyment in life now.  So, I gave him a nice heaping dollop or two of his nasty food... he ate it and came back for more... bark bark bark... just shut up OK?... bark bark bark... what do you want?... bark bark bark... just go meet Jesus for cying out loud? do you want to go meet Jesus, 'cause I can soooo arrange that... bark bark bark... FINE!  Here's your food... hope you choke on it!  (GLOATING FROM THE DOG!)

Hence the new line of fantasies; not sexy, but oooohhhh so nice!

Sybil called today to tell me that she'd called and left me several messages; I didn't get them I said. Oh, well I left them; several of them. OK, what is going on?  Well, I left it in the messages I left you; the first message tells you about it; the next message I left because you didn't respond to the first message I left you, and I didn't know if you'd gotten the first message or not.  So, I left you another one.  I didn't get them, I said; sorry.  So, what's up, I say.  Well, I know I left you at least two or three messages, because you didn't respond to the first one; I know I've called several times.  But you obviously didn't get the messages.  But I called... several times.

 - this is what I WANTED  to say:

OK ENOUGH - YOU CALLED. YOU LEFT SEVERAL MESSAGES. I DIDN'T GET THEM BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE IS PLOTTING AGAINST YOU AND WANTS TO CUT YOU OFF FROM ALL CIVILIZATION FOR EVER - FOR ALL ETERNITY - AND DO EXPERIMENTAL THINGS ON YOU - THEY LEFT YOU A MESSAGE ... DID YOU GET IT?

AND SHE WONDERS WHY I DON'T ANSWER HER CALLS - MYSTERY SOLVED!!!!!!!

The Hub found the retelling of this story particularly funny, because he has witnessed similar conversations in person (yes, this is a REAL person).  I also find it funny,... annoyingly so!  Will be screening the calls...

By the way, looky who's learning to use all the nifty-neato gadgets on the blog site?  Also, guess who got and iPhone 3G???  HINT: not Sister Whoopi!!!!!