My New Regime

There are few New Regimes in the Wilson Household: one has to do with the Masses and their slovenly, childish ways (and since they are children, it is appropriate for me to find ways to train them up to be less swine-like, and more human... like); the other is my workout. I routinely engage a Medieval Torture Specialist (twice weekly) and enjoy 5 to 6 cardio workouts per week. I am motivated. I am motivated to fit into the 'skinny' jeans; motivated by swimsuit season; motivated by seeing my glaring white flesh naked in the mirror... and yes, it is STILL white.

The Hub... not so much. So I found a great circuit training series that is very cardio in its approach - the best of all worlds in under an hour! He'll love it. He will be motivated to do it! He will grow old with me and not die early leaving me to put the faucet covers on outside or fend off endangered woodpeckers by myself!!

And he does love it!!

And he is doing it!!

One catch... I am there with him.

Squat after squat, fly after fly, push-up to push-up, I am there... sweating and silently cursing the peppy bimbo (though I am really certain she is a delightful person, for the sake of my sanity I prefer to pretend she is a Food Nazi who works out 14 hours a day and is genetically a mutant; this makes me happy... so work with it) who's directing each excrutiating move and exercise!! And because I am a creature of habit (translate: a little OCD), I continue along with my REGULAR EXERCISE PROGRAM IN ADDITION TO 'GI JANE"S BURN YOUR BUTT OFF MAKE A BIG GIRL CRY' workout!!!!!

In short... even my eyelashes hurt!!! Now, the Hub's been manning up and saying yeah, I'm sore, but not terribly so... like YOU (raising eyebrows at me). And if he'd said it without raising his eyebrows I might refrain from telling you this (might is a big 'maybe'): I heard him cry like a little girl trying to sit on the toilet the other day!!!!

OK, that was a little bit of an exaggeration. But It Was Funny!!!!!!

Amazingly, all this pain has me thinking: what if I get all buff and beautiful (hey, that could be a soap opera title...), and then 30 or 40 years from now, when I am old and wrinkly and sagging, I hear someone say "she was once a real looker, but now..." What good was all the torture??? Face it: it's going downhill, folks... I'm just trying to slow the ball down, know what I mean???

So, I have come up with a whole New Regime for thinking: (drum roll) I'm gonna try to maintain what I have so that 30 to 40 years from now people say, ''Why, you haven't changed a bit!!!!" Just think!!!! I could be the gal who is JUST THE SAME as she was when she was... well, younger!!!! No, she's really porked out since then, or her muscle tone is shot, or her jowls hag low... No sireee!!!! Not me!!!! I could wear the jeans then that I wear now... if they are fashionable, of course!!

This has revolutionized my life!!! I am free!!!!

Except the Hub is expecting to workout today...

Summertime

The song from Porgy and Bess says the livin' is easy. Well, that's a BIG FAT LIE!!! I am totally exhausted!!! It's been soccer camp, and dance recital, and tennis, and art classes, and swimming, and laking...  What happened to sleeping in? Taking it easy? Lazy days of summer?? I'd like to speak to the management!!

Oh, wait, I AM the management.

This isn't looking good...

It started last summer, with letting the Masses try some new things, which is great and it is a good time with no school work and all, to try new things. And it sure kept them busy and out of my hair, which was never brushed because I was too busy flying out of bed and out the door. And they had a great time, and really, so did I. Fast forward to 2009. And we are on the same schedule, or at least a similar one. But I started the summer worn out, because all the neat activities from LAST summer somehow became year-round activities, and therefore continued through last fall, winter, and this spring.... which means I haven't had a break. Hence, I feel like I've been hit with a Mack truck, carried on the grill for about 25 miles, and endured the desert heat, polar snows, and hurricane winds and rain,... all while being pelted by giant horned winged angry slow-to-die bugs from some science fiction novel with large stingers. And my hair still isn't brushed. And yes, I do own mirrors and know what I look like. I am too tired to care.

So, today may be the ONE day of R&R... except the boys had some friends spend the night (which is no problem), and they are already up and going STRONG downstairs.. and it was 7:20 when this started. AM. However, they are in for a BIIIIGGGG surprise: NAPTIME!!!  YES! Today I will employ that good ol' summer tradition (lots of European and Central/ South American cultures have this sooooo right) of the afternoon nap, because frankly, I need one.

I just hope I can stay awake until then...